always searching for the right thing to say


Suckful down, not out

So, yeah, domain registration issues over at Suckful. Do not be alarmed, random high-speed coke-fuel grunts and wild gesticulations will resume soon enough - I'm sure everything will be back up and running in the next day or so.

(Technically, you can still hit the blog at the unmasked domain name if you like.


Deathwatch Wrap-Up

So, in the end, it went:

Terri Schiavo
Pope John Paul the Deuce
Prince Rainier

and a couple of bounders:

Johnnie "If he doesn't breathe, you must grieve" Cochran
Mitch Hedburg
Saul Bellow

Please turn in your winning tickets at the window.


Deathwatch continues

Yeah, Terri's dead.

But so is Mitch Hedburg.

I swear this death thing might just take off.


Out of nowhere, it's Johnnie Cochran

I thought this was a three-horse race (Terri Schiavo, Pope JP2, Prince Rainier), but it turns out the winner was Johnnie Cochran.

In other deathwatch news, Jerry Falwell has decided he will not be out-martyred on his home turf and has entered the race. Not to be out-done, il(l) Papa is getting a feeding tube.

Place your bets, everyone!


Race to the Finish

Who will die first?

-Terry Schiavo
-Pope John Paul the Deuce
-Prince Rainier of Monaco

Ladies and gentlemen, place your bets.


Things I do not care about, no matter how 'Important' they are

Any attempt to draw me into conversation on these topics will have the effect of me staring at you dumb and cow-like, mouth slightly agape, with a dangerous amount of spittle threatening to spontaneously form into drool.

Which admittedly makes me look stupid, though the opposite notion (i.e. - you are a fuckwit) is intended.

- Terry Schiavo's indeterminate living status, nor the legal hoo-ha surrounding it
- The Pope John Paul II Deathwatch, 2005
- Steroids in baseball
- That school shooting in Minnesota
- Michael Jackson's trial
- Whether or not Camilla is a queen candidate
- The war (and I use the term loosely) in Iraq
- The Letterman baby kidnapping plot
- Blogging


Wonder Woman

This website's acronym looks too much like ass-farts.

Anyway, the time has come to determine who shall play Wonder Woman in the new film helmed (I like using this word - it makes me feel like a movie insider) by your deity and mine, Joss Whedon.

Personally, I'm pulling for Morena Baccarin - she's hotter than my jock-strap in August, and Joss is pretty loyal to his actors. I don't care if she is about 5-foot-nothing - just hire dwarves in all the supporting roles.

See? Being a mogul is easy.


More news for the uh-duh desk


With Apologies to Norm MacDonald

I have a few theories:

1) People like chocolate.
2) Girls don't like each other very much.
3) Weddings are for women - that's why the men wear uniforms.
4) Germans love David Hasselhoff.



Otherwise, it wouldn't occur to me that I should blog, no?

Yet I have nothing to say.


I used to have another blog, and it was mildly successful

And I thought I'd quit blogging, but well, it's not sticking.